- How To Move Past Your ‘Blurred Lines’!
- The Audition Room And How It Triggers Our Reptilian Brain (Part 2)
- The Audition Room And How It Triggers Our Reptilian Brain! (Part 1)
- SHARE YOUR CRACK! PART 2
- KEEP REACHING TOWARD THE FINISH LINE (Some thoughts and prayers for the victims of the Boston Marathon)
Share this Article
Category Archives: Just Say Yes
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve discovered that all the things I’ve said “I Don’t Know” in response to – I actually did know.
I’m not talking about knowing the answers to advanced physics or calculus theorems.
I’m talking about knowing the answers to questions that pertain to the heart.
You do know what you want to do.
You do know what you want to become.
You do know what’s possible for you.
But the “I Don’t Know’s” keep us in a place of inaction, confusion, inertia. They keep us stuck, legitimized in our excuses, off the hook.
When you’re asked a question, and your response is, “I Don’t Know,” wait for the second answer.
It’s the true answer that you don’t want to say out loud.
You judge it. You’re scared of it. You think other people might judge you. It might hurt someone’s feelings. You might have to get honest in a way that requires you to change something in your life that isn’t working. It might bring up feeling.
I have a friend who was in a bad relationship. I asked her why she didn’t just leave the guy. Her response, “I Don’t Know.”
Of course she knew. But having to say what she knew required her to confront areas of her life she didn’t want to face (the fear of being alone, the admittance she deserved better, the realization that her self-worth was determined by another person). She thought by not acknowledging it, she wouldn’t have to face it.
Denial postpones. It doesn’t prevent.
I ask an actor why he hasn’t called his agent. His response, “I Don’t Know.”
Look behind that answer. What are you scared of? What would it mean to actually initiate movement in your life in an area that’s stalled out? What would it mean to speak honestly about your needs being met and what you deserve? What would it look like to be liberated from the imprisonment the “I Don’t Know’s,” lock us into?
The next time you say “I Don’t Know” to something. . . Stop. See if you can identify the pay-off in responding that way.
Then wait for the second answer.
What would it feel like to give that answer a voice? A place to be expressed? An opportunity to be shared?
I don’t know.
“There are no short cuts to any place worth going.” ~ Beverly Sills
The paradox of Schrödinger’s cat is indeed weird. It demonstrates that in a hypothetical experiment – in the world of the quantum – a live cat put in a box with radioactive decay that could possibly be released and therefore kill the cat, experiences two different wave forms superimposed on each other.
In other words, there are two possible outcomes for our feline friend.
The cat is both dead and alive until the observer opens the box to find out.
Like life – they’re everywhere. But we don’t see them. We ignore them. We shut them out. We deny them.
How? We continue to observe life from a place of limitations, instead of possibility.
No one is putting limits on you. No one sees you as limited, except yourself. You could argue that out in the world you’re constantly being met with people trying to limit you (an agent saying you’re “too old,” or a boyfriend telling you “you’re stupid,” or a well-meaning parent expressing, “it’s a brutal business.”) but really, those limitations are projections of their stuff. Their fears. Their insecurities. Their doubts. Just because someone projects their stuff onto you doesn’t make it real.
You limit yourself by what you put your attention on. What you focus on increases. So you shut out access to possibility because of the myriad ways you say “no” to something.
You listen to other people’s projected limitations.
It’s a closed system. Saying “no” is incompatible with possibility because in order for possibility to occur you have to experiment. You have to try. You have to play. You have to say “yes.”
You are both the scientist of your life and the experiment. Your life is this gigantic laboratory. There are no rules. There are no directions. You make it up as you go along. But you need to get experimenting. Creating. Exploring.
Without experimentation there is no discovery. Without discovery, there is no possibility.
Stop tethering yourself to the world of “no” and all it’s black & white blandness.
Light up your Bunsen burner, put on your goggles, mix some potions in your beaker and get creating.
Harry Potter had fun doing it in his potions class. Why don’t you?
“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” ~ Paulo Coelho
Life itself is an affirmative act. Everywhere in nature you see the inclination, the will to life. Flowers bloom. Birds dispense plant seeds so that they continue to propagate and grow. Weeds are so committed, they poke out from cement sidewalks, where life seems inhospitable. A spider spins its web in places that are certain to be destroyed, and when it invariably happens, it simply weaves a new web. Even in the face of destruction, nature continues to march forward. Almost as if it’s dancing to a rhythm of “yes”. No matter what the odds, nature finds a way.
But what’s up with us?
How many times a day do you say “no”? You don’t like your coffee. You hate the heat. You wish June gloom was not so gloomy. You compare and despair. You wish you had his biceps, her boobs, this agent, that TV show and then everything would be great.
How many times do you say “no” without even realizing it? Every time you complain. Every time you whine. Every time you gossip. Every time you doubt. Every time you expect something to be other than it is. And yes, every time you actually say “no” to things.
Saying “no” shuts out possibility. Saying “no” leaves us zero access to potential. Saying “no” is a closed system. Saying “no” is not a connective force. Saying “no” is separatism. Saying “no” is simply unchecked habituated thinking. Saying “no” runs counter to our natural state of being. Saying “no” limits our ability to be the creative geniuses we are. Saying “no” prohibits access to the unknown which is where the creative matrix – all possibility – exists. Saying “no” shuts your door.
So say “yes” this week. See how it improves your life. Your attitude. Your mood. Watch how things start rushing into your experience simply because you’ve finally opened the door.
All it takes is saying “yes.”
“Yes is a world and in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds.” – e.e. cummings