- If You’re Given A 2nd Chance . . . Share It.
- What Are You Scared Of . . . Success Or Failure? What If It’s Neither?
- The #1 Thing To Do When You Think You Might Be Going Thru A Mid-Life (Or Quarter-Life) Crisis!
- The #1 Thing To Do When You Wake Up And Realize Your Feelings About Acting Have Changed.
- The #1 Reason Why The Foreplay Is Better Than The Orgasm.
Monthly Archives: January 2012
Will Smith actually said it. The secret to his success, was simply “deciding” that he wasn’t going to let anyone or anything stop him from having a career.
It sounds so simple. And in many ways it is.
We often find living our creative lives (and the accomplishing of our goals) to be a haphazard experience. This is partly due to our mind’s thousands of thoughts telling us we can’t have what we truly desire.
Our creating becomes compromised because instead of aligning ourselves with our powerful intentions, we instead get sidetracked by our thoughts that run counter to them.
Just because I have 70,000 thoughts a day, doesn’t mean most of them are real, beneficial or supportive. In fact, most aren’t. And as we listen to the damaging noise in our left brains, we create unseen roadblocks on the paths we really want to be walking.
We neutralize our creative intentions by listening to the junk thoughts we tell ourselves.
“Just deciding” is an empowering way to change the dialogue in your head. Partly because it gives you a good kick in the ass to remind you what’s possible for you and that it’s up to you to get out there and start taking action.
But it’s also a confidence booster, because you begin to realize that once you decide, there comes a sense of effortlessness; a sense of knowing – that if it isn’t this agent, or this manager or this girlfriend or this boyfriend – that the right person you are meant to line up with (the person who’s really going to get you) is just around the corner. So you stop sweating the small stuff. You stop acting desperate. You stop having attachments. You let go.
So the real work is to become more mindful. Stop drinking the poison just because it’s offered to you by your lazy mind. The contrary thoughts you have about yourself are incompatible with the decision you made for yourself to “just decide.” So, ultimately, there’s no room for the two thoughts to co-exist.
So which do you want to think about. Which gives you more joy? More empowerment? More confidence?
Our creative journeys aren’t just about what you are creating in three-dimensional space. They are really the journeys that take place within our heads.
So next time you hear yourself saying something stupid, tell yourself, “I just decided. And there’s really no room for you too. You gotta go.”
“In my mind, I’ve always been an A-list Hollywood superstar. You just didn’t know yet.” ~ Will Smith
10 THINGS YOU KNOW (EVEN IF YOU DON’T KNOW YOU KNOW) – OR – 10 THINGS TO KNOW MORE ABOUT IN 2012! (PART 2)
6). Know The Power of “No” Which Can Really Be A “Yes.”
Life is all about saying yes. But sometimes we have to say no to something externally, but which internally, is an affirmative (“yes!”) declaration of self.
But we’re so often scared to say no to someone because we think they won’t like us or we’ll be rejected for doing so. So we end up compromising our ideals, our integrity, and disregard our inner voice’s knowing, all because of what we think others will think if we follow it. Saying no can be healthy, empowering and self-affirming.
Those people who we’re scared to say no to are not the people who really care for us anyway. So trust your inner voice. Be brave and say no. Look at how often you’re expending energy toward wanting people to “like you.” Spend less time trying to be liked by others and like yourself more.
As Dr. Seuss would say, “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
7). Know That It’s Up To You.
The things you want to see happen in your life require you to make the first move. It’s not up to your mom or dad or teacher or sister or spouse. You have to take the step, and when you do, there are all sorts of unforeseen magical forces that will come to your aid. All sorts of synchronicities and information and dynamic relationships will unfold and become available to you but you first have to take the step.
Lao Tzu said it best, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”
8). The Moment Always Wants To Show Us The Truth.
The moment always wants to show us the truth because the moment is truth. But often, we don’t look at what the moment is really trying to show us. That’s understandable. We feel we’re not equipped to face it or it’s too scary or we’re not strong enough. But those are just the conditioned ramblings of our left brain that want to keep us stuck and cut off from the real power we possess that the moment, ironically, is trying to forge out of us.
9). The Moment Always Wants To Show Us The Truth, But Sometimes You Have To Wait For It.
The other part of this is that sometimes it takes a while for us to catch up with what the deeper part of us already knows. The voices in our head are so loud and disconnected that they often don’t allow us to simply be with our feelings and express them. So be patient and wait for the head noise to quiet down and when it does, be brave enough to express the real feeling that’s going on for you. It’s rarely what our head was telling us it was.
10). Know That All Of Your Knowing Comes From Stepping Into The Unknown.
All of your victories in life have come by you stepping into something unfamiliar, uncomfortable, new. When you get to the other side of what the unknowingness is, you then have experience (which Einstein said), equals knowledge. But that’s gained by stepping into the complete unknown.
We’re naturally hardwired to do this, but as we get older we start to avoid that which is unknown because our ego tells us it’s unsafe.
Think of babies. They are seekers, adventurers, curious explorers. They’re not scared of the unknown. They just play and explore millions of mysterious micro-worlds. But what happens as adults is we start seeking comfort, safety, familiarity – we become seduced by what we know and that’s a sort of death. We stop playing.
Everything you want is in there. So step into the unknown more often. Get back to the spirit of who you were as a child. You wanted to seek. You wanted to play. You didn’t care about failure or how things looked.
The unknown wasn’t scary. It was home.
“Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
Part of life is about owning up to the fact that we know more than we think we do. We’re sometimes not aware of our inner-knowing because we’ve spent a lot of time playing outer roles in life (the dumb blonde, the slacker, the jock, the weirdo) that often got us what we wanted in the short-term, but in the long-term robbed us of the deeper, more connected and empowered truth of who we are. The truth that we do actually know more than we let on.
So, here’s 10 reminders (well, 5 this week and 5 the next) of what you know (but sometimes forget) in 2012.
1). Know Your Self-Worth.
How can you ever know what you deserve in life if you don’t have a sense of self? And how can you ever ask for what you need if your sense of worth is too low to allow yourself to ask?
2). Know Your Value.
This may sound similar because it does have to do with the intrinsic sense of self. But I’m also talking about how your value shows up in the outside world. Look at how much value you bring to people without you even realizing it? Certainly, in your family and friendships and jobs, but also in the seemingly inconsequential events that occur every day: you smile at your neighbor, you ask a stranger how they’re doing, you take the time to really listen to someone. Your value is in who you are. Not in what you do.
3). Know That Real Supporters In Your Life May Bend You But They Don’t Want To Break You.
Simply, you don’t have time for people who don’t make you feel good about yourself. The people who wish to break your spirit for some inexplicable reason? You don’t have time to sit there and try to figure them out. Why do they do it? Who knows? Who cares? Life’s too short. Move on.
4). Know When You’ve Got The Lesson.
How many times do you say to yourself, “Well, rats! I’ve been here before. And I didn’t like it in 1987 and I like it even less now!” If you got the lesson once, there’s no reason to repeat it again, except that you’re a sadomasochist and enjoy the pain! Then you should revisit #1.
5). Know When Enough Is Enough.
We compromise our ideals and principles. We let others poison our thoughts. We listen to the junk truck depositing negative thoughts and we subject ourselves to it because we think we have to. Know where your line is and be willing to not cross it this year. No matter what.
“Don’t just talk about it. Do it.” ~ Richard Dreyfus
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Besides the many stirring things Ms. Williamson says in this quote, one of the most inspiring is her reference to children.
The older I get, the younger I want to be. (Not chronologically – I don’t want to revisit those dreaded high school years or be back in my 20’s trying to figure out who I am again. Oh the drama!)
I’m talking about recapturing the essence of youth, which is really locating the eternal child within each of us.
So many great world teachers talk about returning to child-like innocence. Why? Because children are not in a state of developed ego. They don’t let the cynical, fearful, habituated, negative way of seeing the world contaminate their reality. Which is wonder, excitement, mystery, possibility, play.
And that’s where all the creative work comes from: in-the-moment, not tied to results, not worrying about how you look or what you’re going to get out of it. Like how kids play.
When I was in the 5th grade I’d re-enact episodes of Charlie’s Angels for no other reason than the joy of playing. (Well, OK, I did love Farrah Fawcett’s feathered hair and if I was going to re-enact a show, I wanted to be in the one I thought was the most glamorous on TV.)
But the point is, that boundless, nonjudgmental, childlike creativity is inherent to us. Forever.
We haven’t lost these qualities just because we’ve gained 10 pounds or turned 30 or have gray hair or feel that our lives are at a standstill.
Let this year, then, be a year of tapping into that truth. That to be child-like isn’t to be childish. It’s to be hopeful, innocent, awed and appreciative.
How you used to be. And somewhere within you, you still are.