Two things to remember on your journey of being an actor.
1) Famous people crash and burn in auditions. All the time.
2) They don’t apologize for it when they do. And neither should you.
And as a bonus ”“ for once and for all ”“ stop taking this entire acting thing so damn seriously. It’s not serious. It’s a freaking play for goodness sakes.
If you think of acting as an extension of the creation-destruction principle ”“ which it is ”“ you get less invested in how something looks or is being perceived because it’s all simply a process.
We build things and create things in order to destroy them and re-imagine them. We start all over again from scratch and try different approaches to achieve something we’re never fully content with but also understand that taking something apart is just as important as putting it together.
So why do you put so much pressure on just one aspect of being? They’re both necessary.
You have to blow things up. You have to wreck stuff. Kill your darlings. Creating isn’t devoid of missteps and blow-outs. It’s process.
When kids make a Play-Doh village, they enjoy constructing an imaginary world. It’s fun. They design it, create it and play with it. They’re the architects of their wild imaginings taking on clay form.
Then they demolish it. Rip it apart. Combine all colors of clay into a mash-up that turns the Play-Doh grey. That’s also creative. And also fun. It’s also process.
They don’t necessarily like one more than the other. Both phases are enjoyable. Then kids start to get older and affix judgments and labels to things saying one condition is better than the other. They equate doing things in terms of “right” or “wrong”. Or begin to fear making a mistake, which then starts to limit their access to freedom and real creativity. They start to take fewer risks and get caught up in how something is perceived. The expectations attached to creating become overburdened.
Don’t get too caught up in any of it. Acting is great when you do a scene and it goes well or when you feel like you nailed an audition. But it’s also great when everything goes to shit and you’re left trying to figure out what isn’t working and what the challenges are.
If it were a straight line of perfection throughout your life and your artistic exploration it would be a dull, dead trajectory.
Create. Destroy. Design. Demolish. Try. Attempt. Fail. Play. And try again. Step and repeat.
That’s it. That’s life as an artist ”“ and really a human being. Keep doing that and you’ll start doing what the “famous” people do: make mistakes and not really worry so much about having made them.