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Tag Archives: pilot season
Why do we run away from who we are?
Well, it seems pretty obvious. We feel we lack his charm, her looks. His intelligence, her sexiness.
We erroneously think that the qualities we possess are inadequate and unlikable.
And we judge them.
But something you might have discovered about life is that no matter how much you run from yourself, eventually, you keep returning to who you are.
If there’s no escaping it, there’s only one choice.
Learn to love yourself.
Accept all parts. Embrace the qualities you judge and are scared of. Unapologetically.
As artists, it’s only by understanding and using all our parts that we can get work.
The business is built on “types.” And you’re going to get work according to your type. But we often have so many judgments about those parts of ourselves that we exclude ourselves from even being considered for the job.
A “type” doesn’t have to label you. It doesn’t have to limit you. You do that to yourself.
It merely indicates the kinds of parts we can play because the medium (of TV especially) doesn’t see beyond the physical.
It’s not intended to keep you from booking jobs. Instead, it’s trying to show you how you can work. Casting directors want to hire you based on how they perceive you, but you don’t like your own self-perception so you prevent yourself from committing, from having fun, from being free and expressed in the audition. All because you possess qualities that somewhere along the line you have been taught they’re not OK to have. That you are less a person for having them. That if you show them you’ll be punished or made fun of or unloved.
No one is really perceiving you the way you perceive yourself.
Give yourself a break.
You are cast-able as you are.
You’re able to book jobs as you.
Life’s too short to waste any more time squandering the gifts you’ve been given.
Whether those gifts show up as incredibly good looks or an offbeat voice. An imposing physical-ness or an awkward nerd. A heavy or a dingy blonde.
Celebrate who you are. Because if you can’t, none of us will ever be able to celebrate with you.
When I was in my 20’s, I didn’t like myself very much. I had low self-esteem and a lot of self-hatred. I thought I was dumb and unattractive. Too “this” and too “that.” Too much, too gay, too weird, too “out there.”
So what did I do? Well, like most 20-year-olds at that time, I spent most of my energy trying to be someone I wasn’t. Duh.
I’d try really hard. To overcompensate for my perceived lack, I’d always put on a good show. On dates, I was so surprised when someone actually liked me, I’d ultimately sabotage the experience because of my insecurities. (Not more than an hour after a date ended, I’d call them and leave a voicemail – this was before cell phones! – asking if they had a good time and wanted to do it again!)
In my acting, I’d try to pretend to be someone else being the “character.” So I’d play ideas or mimic famous people or show caricatures because how could I ever believe that someone would ever be interested in merely watching me. That could never be enough, could it?
I learned the hard way. By running away from who I was, I discovered, over time, that the only way I made any sort of progress in my life – whether it be acting or dating or creating or relating – it all came down to me being me.
And ultimately I discovered that who I was (who we each are) is all I got.
You want to know the simple answer to any question you might have about anything you’re wanting in life?
Whether it’s about booking a job or landing the promotion or nailing a successful interview or having a second date or getting your TV series?
If you don’t know who that is yet, you’ve got time to figure it out.
But stop postponing.
The world is waiting for you to share who you are.
And really, you’re waiting to discover yourself.